PonyTales

Tomorrow, a friend of mine will be admitted to induce labour. Her big day is here! Finally…
I pray that her labour will be short and simple (complication free) and I can’t wait to see her baby. We are seeing the same gynae and go to the same hospital.

Looking at my friend, I thot to myself that it may mean that I have another 6 weeks to go - I cannot wait! ~6 weeks seems so long~

Sometimes, I dream and wish that I would wake up one morning and it is time already! - I just cannot wait!

Labour pain!? Am I afraid of it? I guess I am not too worried about that now, I will deal with it when it comes. I told myself, long hours of pain (1-2 days) compared to months of sickness misery, they might just cancel each other out like a mathematic equation. I already come this far and deal with every blow of pregnancy sickness that came - I guess that already makes me tougher now. Whenever my gynae needs to inject me for blood or the small IV tiub need to be inserted into my vein, I do not really feel anything already, my heart did not even skip a beat, when the needle is poked into my flesh. Feels like some sort of "ilmu kebal" that I have mastered.

As long as baby is born healthy and I am out of this misery - I will be the happiest person alive. I just cannot wait!

But, wait I must!
Because I want baby to be born full term - healthy and no complications.

I am really counting down - never count down so seriously hard in my life before. I hope all is well worth it when the time comes.

Tears of joy and victory will fill our eyes as we celebrate our threesome.

This is gonna be another lovey dovey post

I really cannot help it but I just felt like that a lot recently, thus all this inspirations to write

This year Christmas gonna be special. We setup an all RED Christmas tree because I wanted our Christmas this year to have the "Love" theme, just like those shopping complex that has a theme every year for Christmas. So, this year theme for us gonna be - "Celebration of Love"

I thot, it will be nice to have a song for our theme too. So, I have chosen "The Gift" by Jim Brickman to be our Christmas theme song this year. Ahhh…finally, we have our complete theme this year - "The Gift - A Celebration of Love"

This song is dedicated to my hubby, baby and me

Winter snow is falling down
children laughing all around
lights are turning on
like a fairy tale come true

Sitting by the fire we made
you’re the answer when i prayed
i would find someone
and baby i found you

All i want is to hold you forever
all i need is you more every day
you saved my heart
from being broken apart
you gave your love away
and i’m thankful every day
for the gift

Watching as you softly sleep
what i’d give if i could keep
just this moment
if only time stood still

But the colors fade away
and the years will make us grey
but baby in my eyes
you’ll still be beautiful

All i want is to hold you forever
all i need is you more every day
you saved my heart
from being broken apart
you gave your love away
and i’m thankful every day
for the gift

All i want is to hold you forever
all i need is you more every day
you saved my heart
from being broken apart
you gave your love away
i can’t find the words to say
that i’m thankful every day
for the gift

Merry Christmas everyone! We are gonna have a looooooong celebration this year
Spread a little love around as the best Christmas gift this year! Have a merry, lovey dovey Christmas!

The song "I will be here" by Steven Curtis Chapman was sung live by my hubby’s cousin sister on our wedding day (she played the keyboard too). It was a surprise for me then, as I did not plan for a wedding singer, thou I had wanted one.

Tomorrow morning if you wake up
and the sun does not appear
I will be here

If in the dark, we lose sight of love
Hold my hand, and have no fear
‘Cause I will be here

I will be here
When you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind
I will listen

And I will be here
When the laughter turns to cryin’
Through the winning, losing and trying
We’ll be together
I will be here

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the future is unclear
I will be here

Just as sure as seasons are made for change
Our lifetimes are made for years
So I will be here

I will be here
And you can cry on my shoulder
When the mirror tells us we’re older
I will hold you

And I will be here
To watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you are to me

I will be here
I will be true to the promise I have made
To you and to the One who gave you to me

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the sun does not appear
I will be here
Oh, I will be here

The lyrics of this song has deep meaning to me. I remember the many times this song brought tears to my eyes throughout these few years. I am thankful that this song is sung on my wedding day, it is not chosen by me, but I believe that it is dedicated by God to us.

Just let me recall here how this song has been so touching in every year of my marriage from the start:

• 2004 - Sung on wedding day by surprise to me and I felt so touched/blessed
• 2005 - Many career challenges, hubby sent this song to me and I felt comforted
• 2006 - Months of pregnancy difficulties/sickness, and this song make me feel comforted

It never came accross my mind that I will face many challenges every year after marriage, I can only imagine the happy ever after scene then. This song reminds me of how precious and sacred is our marriage vow made in the presence of God.

God really knows best! Even when it comes to the song He dedicate to us

We bought a Christmas tree and set it up over the weekend

O… Christmas Tree! O…Christmas Tree!

Sure looks tall from a baby’s point of view

My New! view sitting on the right of the sofa

I’m Lovin’ It!

Well! I may be kinda early for Christmas, but it is just so nice to have a Christmas tree at home. Really light up the whole house!

Psst! Bought this 6 feet tall tree and all ornaments for less than RM130 in Ikea, I think it is worth it!

After married for more than 2 years and with baby on the way, things have really change. The changes I am talking about here is the early feelings that I have for hubby - when we were just friends/colleagues.

This song "Lost in Your Eyes" by Debbie Gibson always remind me of how I felt about hubby at that time - when I was at a major crossroad in my life.

I get lost, in your eyes
And I feel my spirits rise
And soar like the wind
Is it love that I am in?
I get weak in a glance
Isn’t this what’s called romance?
And that’s what I know
Cause when I’m lost
I can’t let go

I don’t mind
Not knowing what I’m headed for
You can take me to the skies
It’s like being lost in heaven
When (and) I’m lost in your eyes

I just felt
Don’t know why
Something is there
We can’t deny
Ooh, when I first knew
Was when I first looked at you
And if I
Can’t find my way
If salvation
Seems miles away
Oh, I’ll be found
When I’m lost in your eyes

I get weak in a glance
Isn’t this what’s called romance
Oh, I’ll be found
When I am lost
In your eyes

Why this song? - Because the lyrics really just describe my feelings then, how I felt in my heart.

I was going thru a very rough time with my ex and we were all working in the same company. At the same time, I also knew that there is something special about my hubby.

So, I was in this confusing dilemma for a while until I finally had enough and cut the relationship with a heavy heart. I felt like a complete loser after that and cried for weeks - I remember the many days I stared blankly at my office PC with blood shot eyes - dunno how to do work. Thank God I did not loose my job then! Hee Hee - almost everyone in my dept knew that I just broke up.

While still nursing a very broken heart, which I thot I will never recover - especially after discovering the truth about my ex. One bitter night and still crying buckets, I just knelt and pray to God - I asked God to help me if you are really there! I am gonna die crying like this! …and I cannot die now, my parents still need me to stay alive!

Shortly after, my hubby approach me on Valentine’s day with flowers (very bold of him) and I found hope again - I also found God and knew then that He really answer prayer

I just bought a book during lunch hour - Asian Parenting Today!

Note! It doesn’t help when one work above one of the most happening shopping complex in KL - can really do impulsive purchase!!

This book is recommended by Pinky
I am going to buy the other book recommended by her also, Minus Nine to One: The Diary of an honest mum by Jamie Oliver’s (the celebrity chef) wife, Jools Oliver

Suddenly, I have the urge to read again after soooooo long. It felt like back to the time when I was in primary school (about 10-12 y.o). I will go to school library every day and read every single "cerita dongeng" (Malay: fairy tales) books they have there. In fact, I will read any book they have, like I am possesed by the book…I don’t even care if tomorrow is exam day, I read story book like no tomorrow. I used to tell myself that ‘membaca buku’ (Malay: reading) was the most honest hobby that I fill in all the school forms/exercise. The rest I just made it up to create volume

Now, I have this urge again…could it be baby?!!

I am just wondering, do I really have the luxury to read, when baby is out? Since my old hobby is coming back to me now…

Reading is good, and I want to continue this passion again…I hope… 

P/S: For those who know me personally and reading my blog - if u wanna borrow books/mags on pregnancy from me. Please let me know yea

I am currently reading ‘What to Expect, The First Year’. This is the continuation series of the famous, ‘What to Expect, when you are expecting’ book - the book is even shown in the ‘Invasion’ sci-fi series when the pregnant mommy trapped in a car accident try to use the book to knock off the rear mirror. I would say it is a very good book as it try to outline as much details as possible, from labour, breastfeeding to baby care, postpartum care and etc. in very simple ways. The way an inexperience mother-to-be like me will be able to understand and accept

Actually, after reading so much (books, magazine and parent’s blogs) that I enjoyed a lot, I feel like I am more ready than before for baby’s arrival. I found that I also can somehow see the benefits/applicability (or not!) of certain advises given to me, whether with good intention or simply just to make conversation. More importantly, I stay calm and don’t get too paranoid with things people say…especially when I have been feeling sick here and there throughout this pregnancy.

Recently, I found my hubby reading the book too! and I asked him whether it is good, whether he learn anything. He just said that he simply read it and skip some chapters - sounds more like he got nothing to read now, so this one will do too . He also said, "If I dunno anything, I will ask mommy (me)" - This words! Made my brain start thinking so much, as if they got zapped!

There are certain things that are still occupying my mind so much nowadays, I feel like I am not only carrying a heavy belly around, but also a heavy head  
You see! I realised quite a while ago that I really need all the help I can get as of now and also in the coming many months when baby finally landed. Don’t get me wrong, I love to be independent too and was once quite an independent person, but I always like to plan/prepare in advance the things that I can expect/imagine now so that when situation arises (especially unforseen ones), we can still somehow handle/made it thru.

Some of my thoughts/concerns…

• SIL - she will need to find way to go college herself, I guess we will not be able to fetch her for the 1st few weeks of baby’s arrival. Hubby need to be in service for baby, me and confinement lady to get the neccessities as and when it arises. So, I asked hubby to arrange for SIL#2 to give her the family car to use (since they will be away for a mth) - Psst! cannot help it but feel geram whether she ever thot abt this before (for her own sake, my goodness!) or she just simply lay all her burden on us and see what happens…blah!
• In-Laws - Expect my in-laws (at least 3 person) to come for visit & stay, but our little apartment is really too cramped even now, wut with baby and confinement lady around later. Confinement lady agree to cook for me and hubby, not sure whether she will cook for the rest. Ideal arrangement will be for my in-laws to stay elsewhere (hotel!) and only come and visit. I cannot start to imagine the mountain of laundry (with everyone around) - washing machine/dryer breaking down + space constraint + queue at toilet - I had enuf of congestion being an LRT commuter everyday already!!!
  Hubby! If you are reading this, please help to think and communicate effectively to ur family on this. I am happy they are coming to visit, but I also don’t want to be a bad host.
• Babysitting - Will need to hire a babysitter or a maid to be left somewhere with someone trusted. I need to estimate how much time I have to make ends meet for this - or we will have never-ending headache later. I understand that in the future we need time to pack baby to be sent somewhere for day care. So, SIL cannot expect us to give her a lift to college anymore in the future (daily or occassionally), we simply don’t have enough time - she gotta be independent somehow, and it’s NOW! - Hubby! I am serious - talk to her thou I know ur earlier arrangement is not like this. Trust me! My mommy instinct can see the future much more clearer and the message is - we cannot babysit her anymore! We got a real baby to babysit!

This is the 3 main agenda that plague my mind this morning during the whole LRT journey to work. Ironically, mostly involves my in-laws! OopSs! - If only I have a magic wand  Geez! I never thot there are so much of ‘in-law invasion’ - even baby’s arrival felt this disturbance in the Force…here we go again…sigh…maybe these are some of the things post-partum depression are made of