PonyTales

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to gray
They tell me your passion’s gone away
And I don’t need no carryin’ on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You’re faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life’s been way off line
You’re falling to pieces every time
And I don’t need no carryin’ on

Because you had a bad day
You’re taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don’t know
You tell me don’t lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don’t lie
You’re coming back down and you really don’t mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Will you need a blue sky holiday?
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don’t need no carryin’ on

You had a bad day
You’re taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don’t know
You tell me don’t lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don’t lie
You’re coming back down and you really don’t mind
You had a bad day

(Oooh.. a holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I’m not wrong

(yeah…)

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You’re taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don’t know
You tell me don’t lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You’ve seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

I remember my company’s big boss played this song at one of our staff meeting when we failed to meet a deadline and it cost the company a lot. What a song….rite!?

I am having a bad day today. Too many things to worry about, mainly family issues (both side) and to top it off with sleep deprivation

I got all worked up this morning and called my hubby and told him all the ill feelings I had over two of his family member - who has given us many unwanted problems - financially.

My dad called me and told me that his leg is aching and he is having difficulties preparing lunch for himself. My mom is gonna stop work soon to take care of him and she is actually very reluctant to do so.

The cost of moving to our new home.

Challenges in both our careers and the coming transportation issue.

It is really very hard to keep my cool when faced with problems financially and health wise. Depressing….and I still have not fully recovered postpartum, still need to see my gynae next week. Both my wrists still hurts when I carry baby.

Although I have took all sorts of precautions and planned all I could to make sure I am ready to be a mother, still other problems pop-up like mushroom after rain. Some is really beyond what I can do or help.

Yet, life goes on…

…and I need a blue sky holiday…

At the beginning…

While the world all over are celebrating new year 2007, hubby and me are in SJMC waiting for the arrival of our firstborn.
Baby Zoe was born on 1st January 2007 at 11:58pm. My actual gynae is on holiday and baby landed safely on earth by the help of a nice and gentle Dr. Tan. I remember the Dr said, "Ha! The last new year baby to arrive!"

Hubby and me are actually very excited as we waited every minute since I am admitted at 2pm. The contraction pain is bearable up until about 10pm when Dr rupture my amniotic sac - after that, every contraction is a torture and hubby gave me a towel to bite on to ease my pain. I was desperate then and asked for epidural, but the nurse told me it is to late as I am already 7cm dilated. So, I hang on to the laughing gas given like hanging on to my dear life. I still thank God because it is still considered a "short and simple" labour, the exact same words that I prayed very often throughout my pregnancy. God answered my prayer and baby Zoe is born naturally without any complications.

Everything about baby is really "on the dot". Her birthweight is 2.5kg and she is almost exactly 37 weeks, so Dr said that she is okay and not considered premature - just nice. We are really thankful for that, as I was quite worried throughout my pregnancy with all the complications and not well very often.

Now, baby Zoe is safe in our hands - so tiny but yet so precious to us - truly God’s greatest new year gift for both of us.

Hey baby Zoe, daddy and mommy loves you a lot and we look forward to every moment with you. You are God’s precious gift to us.

Year end and New Year is a time to reflect of the things we have done for the past year and our plan for the future. For hubby and me, Jan 07 will mark a new chapter in our life as we anticipate the arrival of baby and the start of our parenthood journey. There will be a lot of ups and downs surely, but as long as we walk this journey together – I think it will be our most cherished memories/moments for years and years to come.

2006 is a challenging year for me, mainly in terms of health. It is the year I got pregnant – with hyperemesis. I thank God that I manage to get my job stabilized when this pregnancy complication hit me – manage to keep my job so far. This year, I really learned that staying healthy is very important. In the midst of uncontrollable health circumstances – I guess God made me see it. A rather desperate way to see things clearly but I will never forget this lesson for sure.

2007 is going to be a challenging year for us as well but I will like to add that it will be a fulfilling year too. Many things to look forward to – baby, new home and maybe a new move in career. Is it too much to take?

I am not sure for now but it is coming anyway – might as well ‘just do it’ rather than worry no end about it.

I am looking forward to 2007 – I believe that it will be a great year

Happy New Year Everyone!

This is gonna be another lovey dovey post

I really cannot help it but I just felt like that a lot recently, thus all this inspirations to write

This year Christmas gonna be special. We setup an all RED Christmas tree because I wanted our Christmas this year to have the "Love" theme, just like those shopping complex that has a theme every year for Christmas. So, this year theme for us gonna be - "Celebration of Love"

I thot, it will be nice to have a song for our theme too. So, I have chosen "The Gift" by Jim Brickman to be our Christmas theme song this year. Ahhh…finally, we have our complete theme this year - "The Gift - A Celebration of Love"

This song is dedicated to my hubby, baby and me

Winter snow is falling down
children laughing all around
lights are turning on
like a fairy tale come true

Sitting by the fire we made
you’re the answer when i prayed
i would find someone
and baby i found you

All i want is to hold you forever
all i need is you more every day
you saved my heart
from being broken apart
you gave your love away
and i’m thankful every day
for the gift

Watching as you softly sleep
what i’d give if i could keep
just this moment
if only time stood still

But the colors fade away
and the years will make us grey
but baby in my eyes
you’ll still be beautiful

All i want is to hold you forever
all i need is you more every day
you saved my heart
from being broken apart
you gave your love away
and i’m thankful every day
for the gift

All i want is to hold you forever
all i need is you more every day
you saved my heart
from being broken apart
you gave your love away
i can’t find the words to say
that i’m thankful every day
for the gift

Merry Christmas everyone! We are gonna have a looooooong celebration this year
Spread a little love around as the best Christmas gift this year! Have a merry, lovey dovey Christmas!

The song "I will be here" by Steven Curtis Chapman was sung live by my hubby’s cousin sister on our wedding day (she played the keyboard too). It was a surprise for me then, as I did not plan for a wedding singer, thou I had wanted one.

Tomorrow morning if you wake up
and the sun does not appear
I will be here

If in the dark, we lose sight of love
Hold my hand, and have no fear
‘Cause I will be here

I will be here
When you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind
I will listen

And I will be here
When the laughter turns to cryin’
Through the winning, losing and trying
We’ll be together
I will be here

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the future is unclear
I will be here

Just as sure as seasons are made for change
Our lifetimes are made for years
So I will be here

I will be here
And you can cry on my shoulder
When the mirror tells us we’re older
I will hold you

And I will be here
To watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you are to me

I will be here
I will be true to the promise I have made
To you and to the One who gave you to me

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the sun does not appear
I will be here
Oh, I will be here

The lyrics of this song has deep meaning to me. I remember the many times this song brought tears to my eyes throughout these few years. I am thankful that this song is sung on my wedding day, it is not chosen by me, but I believe that it is dedicated by God to us.

Just let me recall here how this song has been so touching in every year of my marriage from the start:

• 2004 - Sung on wedding day by surprise to me and I felt so touched/blessed
• 2005 - Many career challenges, hubby sent this song to me and I felt comforted
• 2006 - Months of pregnancy difficulties/sickness, and this song make me feel comforted

It never came accross my mind that I will face many challenges every year after marriage, I can only imagine the happy ever after scene then. This song reminds me of how precious and sacred is our marriage vow made in the presence of God.

God really knows best! Even when it comes to the song He dedicate to us

Do you believe that God exist?

The answers may be yes, no, sometimes, maybe…

I am a Christian and I do believe in God, but many times throughout my walk with Him so far, I find that I sidetrack, loose focus on His words, loose faith and become weak.

Many times…I questioned myself, how the word of God (Bible) can teach or reveal anything to me?

So, for stubborn nut like me, something has to happen in order for me to see and experience His Truth.
(Suddenly, I can hear the famous TV show tagline "You asked for it!")

God becomes more and more real to me after I got pregnant. Through my pregnancy ordeal, this verse came so real and hit me:

To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." Genesis 3:16

See!! God said it already! Just that I did not give enough thoughts to the verse above when I read it earlier. For me, there are 3 big "Yes" that I can mark on the verse above:

1. Yes, pregnancy is difficult and not a bed of roses like what I thought earlier - greatly increase your pains in childbearing
2. Yes, labour is painful and that is why so many women cannot seem to stop thinking/talking/fearing about it. There are lots of articles about the whole process too - with pain you will give birth to children
3. Yes, we love/desire our hubby enough to go thru the above, therefore hubby rules! - Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you

Haih…Dear God! Eventhou the above verse is scary, but thank you for telling me again. Should read your Word more diligently laa…sigh…u really know me!

Okay, okay! by the way…it is not all scary verses like the above that God told me alone. He also told me not to give up because He will walk beside me and will not leave me alone

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8

Jesus loves me this I know
For the Bible tells me so
Little one to Him belongs
They are weak but He is strong

Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
The Bible tells me so…

This is the first praise song that I learned from my grandma when I was little. Back then, I sang it in Hokkien language. To me there are no difference, this song still touch my heart deeply. I still remember that I sang it to everyone that I know once I remember the whole song…to my mom while she is washing dishes at the sink, to my father while he is resting, to my godmother (staying with us that time) who do not know Hokkien language at all…they are all amused by me.

Recently again, this song touch my heart so deep. I am having lots of difficulties with my pregnancy, mainly nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, losing weight, tiredness and sleepless nights…so hubby and me decided to go to Salvation one night to see if there are any sentimental song CDs that can soothe me to sleep. While browsing around, this song is played and I felt tears in my eyes cause it touched me deeply. It is a baby lullabies CD and we bought it. Now every night I listen to it and it really soothe me.

After being sick for more than a month, it really takes away a lot from me and make me a dull person. So, while rotting at home one day and it seems that I cannot take it anymore, this words of prayer from my friend’s wedding video just strike me, "God loves you very much!". I felt a relief immediately and quickly got up to pray, start responding to God…thanking Him for everyone and everything around me. A sense of gladness and comfort just fill me that day.

I really learned now that during times of trials like this, we need to know that God is there, protecting and loving us always. Never give up! and do not be afraid because God is there with us when we are weak.

There are so many favours that I received during this time and I just want to thank all the people that continue to support and encourage me.

A BIG THANK YOU and God bless you all greatly  to:

My Dear Hubby for your unconditional love, prayer, care & support
My Parents and brother for your love & support
My Pastor and family for your prayer & support
All my cell group members for your prayer & support
My friends, manager and colleagues for your support & concern